2006-01-29T08:32:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in a meeting a week or so ago with some of my colleagues. We have all worked together for the past 20 years and know each other well. I am the one in the group who has always had the largest ?ClueFairy deficit when it comes to emotional intelligence (see Daniel Goleman's book on Emotional Intelligence for details).

At any rate, the four of us are sitting around a teleconference device that was located in the center of large oval conference table. We were listening to the meeting leader on the other end of the teleconferencer. There are other people on the other end of the line with the leader as well as people at yet another location. It is easy to forget that they are there when you can't see them and never hear them.

So, the stage is set for my ?ClueFairy encounter, or lack thereof. The leader made mention of a meeting with the Board of Directors Big Wigs, where other members of the oerganization, lower on the Org Chart, could pass on some information. I mentioned that many of those inside the organization had 15+ years of experience with the institution and the board members had no real experience with the institution from the inside. I suggested that perhaps the meeting should be more egalitarian in its construction, rather than the more paternal model that creates such a power differential. Well...

I could tell by my own internal reaction (sweating, feeling hot etc) that I had gone over the edge. I could also tell that when I looked into the faces of the other people at the table with me. They had those incredulous stares that said, "You're doing it again!" It occurred to me that my behavior was like playing the game of Hangman where you have only one guess - you are bound to lose.

Needless to say, the little bird (The ?ClueFairy) that is supposed to be on your shoulder BEFORE you say stupid stuff like that was on a break. The leader came down on me like ten tall buildings. As he admonished me for my timerity, my colleagues looked at me with that curious combination of grins associated with "Boy, your really gonna get it now!" and, just below that facade, the horror of "Oh sh@!, your screwed!"

I lived...The ?ClueFairy's gift: enhance my emotional intelligence. My comments to the leader could have been framed more effectively. I could have been more aware that there were people on the other end of the teleconferencer that I was not taking into consideration. My comments were easily construed as critical and disrepectful in the words and images I used. The better way to approach the issue would have been to have a private conversation with the leader in addition more carefully framing my suggestion.

2004-04-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

This is the introduction to TheClueFairy Escapades. Phrases like "he hasn't got a clue," "get a clue!" "Are you clueless, or what?" "She was clueless!" etc abound in our conversations. For the past ten years I have addressed the issue of "the clue" by looking at it from another perspective i.e. waiting for TheClueFairy.

In my role as a postgraduate educator and workshop leader for the past twenty years, I have used humor into enhance the learning environment. For the past ten years or more TheClueFairy has been one vehicle for humor. My life's work has been with my daughter as a father, my patients as a doctor, my students as a teacher and co-learner, various organizations as an organizational development consultant and individuals as a coach.

Humor is a great tool for opening the mind to alternatives. If one considers what makes jokes funny, it is most often the unexpected outcome. That unexpected outcome opens people to consider other alternatives which are critical to learning and its outcome: change. The concept of TheClueFairy is intended to create a humorous pathway to alternative ways of living with ourselves and others.

I find humor so seductive that I have had to struggle to constrain its use at times where I would certainly have blown my chances for success had I made the funny comment; and I am not alone in this. We have all been in meetings where someone made a humorous, but totally inappropriate, comment that made everyone else cringe.

I created TheClueFairy blog at the recommendation of a friend who felt that it was too good to leave under a bushel basket. I am creating it in advance of having the details in order. I will be updating it regularly once I get my arms around the idea.

The Clue Fairy